The most powerful male gets the most babelicious female? “I Could Never Be Your Woman” (2008)

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directed by Amy Heckerling
© 2008 The Weinstein Company. All Rights Reserved.

Let’s finish this week with a bit of love, shall we? Unfortunately, we’ve just lost a wonderful actor, Fred Willard, so this post is dedicated to him. Thank you, Mr, Willard, it was pleasure. And if you’re not much familiar with Willard’s acting, you may see him in today’s film. Don’t be surprised about my rating. I honestly love this comedy, I’ve seen it several times and everything works there, so why shouldn’t I appreciate it? The story is about Rosie (Michelle Pfeiffer), who’s a 40-year-old single mother of the 13-year-old Izzie (Saoirse Ronan). When the girl falls in love with her classmate, Rosie starts questioning herself as an attractive woman. Even her ex-husband (Jon Lovitz) encourages to find a date. However, she’s too busy working on her life project – “You Go Girl” TV show, of which she’s the producer and scriptwriter. One day, her boss (Fred Willard) demands changes in the shows, so Rosie needs to create a new character. During the casting, she meets Adam (Paul Rudd), who seems to be incredibly charming, a big goofy, but definitely memorable. When those two start working together, it’s not only about the show, if you know what I mean. Sounds cheesy? Perhaps, but, as I said before, this comedy has everything. The main character is a woman with real issues – she’s middle-aged, single, lonely and scared. Her daughter is not a loser or a school star (which are the only two types that most films show), she’s an ordinary girl struggling with teenage problems. Then there’s the self acceptance message, the respect towards women message, the love is for everyone message, the natural can be beautiful message and, yes, I absolutely adore this film. Even though it’s supposed to be a silly rom-com, I love it.

My rating: 9/10
S.

The clear path is never the right one. “Onward” (2020)

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directed by Dan Scanlon
© 2020 Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. All Rights Reserved.

This time I didn’t cry! I almost always cry watching Disney/Pixar productions, but this time it didn’t work. And I know why, but first let me tell you what this strange new animation is about. Imagine the world full of mythical creatures. We, as humans, aren’t much mythical so we’re not here. Sorry. But you can see all those orcs, gnomes, fairies and whatever you can imagine. The main character is Ian (Tom Holland), who’s an elf. He lives with his mother Laurel (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and his brother Barley (Chris Pratt). The boys’ father died before Ian was born, so Barley remembers him a little, Ian, however, didn’t have a chance to meet him at all. Now their mother is dating Colt (Mel Rodriguez), a centaur police officer (I know how it sounds and I had to tell you about it). Anyway, that’s not the point. The most important part is that Ian turns 16 and his father left him and Barley something special that was supposed to be given to them after they are both over 16. They receive a magical staff, a rare gem and a letter from their father, where he explains that using these things the boys can resurrect him for a day. Barley, as a huge geek, tries to do it several times, but fails. However, Ian gives it a chance and, by accident, resurrects… his father’s legs. Yes, his father’s legs. Moving legs, nothing else. So in order to see the rest of the man, the brothers decide to go on an adventure, find another gem and do more abracadabra. Still, they have only 24h before those legs disappear. To be honest, I had bigger expectations about this film. I mean, I love all Disney/Pixar productions with my whole heart, but this one was just too much. I feel like they wanted to make it modernly mythical, but, in the end, it’s just a bit annoying weird-creature circus. Still, I loved the jokes, I loved the animation and I loved the message that we get at the end. Besides, the story, even though it’s presented in a fantasy world, reminds us of our own reality, where people keep following new technologies and forget about the “magic of the past”. So even though I am still slightly disappointed, I’m giving a thumb up.

My rating: 7/10
S.

I had a little girl once… “Angel of Mine” (2019)

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directed by Kim Farrant
© 2019 Lionsgate. All Rights Reserved.

Today, I have a nice thriller/drama for you that I wouldn’t watch if Noomi Rapace wasn’t there. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that without her, I’d rate “Angel of Mine” a bit lower. Luckily, she’s there and she plays the main role so you’re safe, at least for me. Noomi plays Lizzie, a woman who lost her baby daughter Rosie in a hospital fire accident. We meet her 7 years after that tragedy. She’s no longer with her husband Mike (Luke Evans) but they both try to raise their first child, Thomas (Finn Little). One day, Lizzie goes with her son to his friend’s birthday party and during it she spots a little girl. Somehow, the woman feels that this little girl is… her daughter. I mean, at first she starts observing and asking about her, but when she manages to meet her family and get closer, Lizzie is almost sure that’s her child. It sounds ridiculous and everyone around her thinks she’s lost her mind, because, since the tragedy, she hasn’t been doing fine. So even if her idea seems absurd, we, as viewers, begin to believe her. At least that happened with me. I was struggling whether to trust her or the people who seem to be more rational in this case. Personally, I wasn’t surprised about the ending and I know that a lot of people were even disappointed, but generally, the film’s atmosphere made by Noomi Rapace is incredible. I simply adore this woman and what she can express on the screen. So even if you won’t like the story, you should be satisfied with the main character at least.

My rating: 6.5/10
S.

Believe me, my eyes are open. “Sand Storm” (“Sufat Chol”, 2016)

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directed by Elite Zexer 
© 2016 Pyramide Distribution. All Rights Reserved.

Perhaps I didn’t rate this film high, but I still think it’s worth your time. Well, it’s definitely worth your time. I’m sorry to start with the negative point, but it’ll get better, promise. So, the thing I didn’t like was the form and the narration. At some point I felt frustrated that this film was being too in a bit trivial way, considering the topic. However, the idea and the message are so strong that I’d watch this production again. The main character is Layla (Lamis Ammar), who is a young Bedouin woman. Despite her origins, she’s more open-minded and modern than her family. Her mother Jalila (Ruba Blal) needs to organise a special celebration because her husband Suliman (Hitham Omari) is about to get married for the second time. Even though a man can have more than one wife in their culture, Jalila is deeply hurt about it. Still, she obeys the rules and does what she’s supposed to do. Layla is the opposite, she believes women should be allowed to make choices and be more independent. And at this point we realise we have two main characters, at least according to me. It’s a story of two women from two different generations, who try to live their lives choosing different ways. Jalila wants to feel safe and make sure her family is protected, therefore she agrees to whatever Suliman decides. Layla wants to experience a better life and change her reality. Personally, I agreed and disagreed with both of them, which made me lose my mind a bit watching this film. It’s such a difficult topic, especially since I’m not familiar with their culture. And even if it happened in my culture, I’d struggle to choose the “right” way. Perhaps the form isn’t the most engaging, as I said, but the story really makes you reflect. So today I’m serving you a big bowl of food for thought. Enjoy!

My rating: 6/10
S.

Oh, hi Mark! “The Room” (2003)

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directed by Tommy Wiseau
© 2003 Chloe Productions. All Rights Reserved.

A special film for a special day. This post is officially my 500th post on this blog and I guess it would be unusual for 2020 to let me write about some amazing piece of art. As you know, today is the 13th of May and on the 13th of every month I’m supposed to tell you about one film that, in my opinion, isn’t worth your time. Thank you, dear 2020, dear fate, dear holy spirits and other creatures for giving me this date. Muchas gracias, karma will get you! Anyway, even though I should have criticised a film, I still wanted to write about something special and somehow “celebrate” this day. Therefore, I’m giving you “The Room”. And even though I’m “not recommending it”, I’m still “recommending it”. Those who’ve seen this piece of… artistic expression know what’s happening in my head now. “The Room” is considered to be one of the worst films in the history of cinema, and yet billions have seen it for sure. What if I told you I’ve seen it more than 5 times? And the best part is that… I have absolutely no idea what’s the story. So if you’re waiting for me to tell you about the plot, wrong address. I bet every film critic would agree that this film is a huge mess without any sense. There’s a man, who’s in love with a woman, then there’s his best friend, some friend drama, some love drama, yadda yadda yadda. But it’s definitely one of my favourite guilty pleasures of all time. Each time I need a mind reset, I watch “The Room” with friends and laugh saying all the lines we already know by heart. So, in conclusion, you shouldn’t see this film, but at the same time you have to. In 2017, James Franco directed “The Disaster Artist”, which is about Tommy Wiseau and how he was making “The Room”. You can find the recommendation of it on my blog, but definitely watch “The Room” first, because you may miss a lot of jokes. The co-writer of “The Disaster Artist”, Tom Bissell, was asked about his opinion on “The Room” and he said: “It is like a movie made by an alien who has never seen a movie, but has had movies thoroughly explained to him.” And this is exactly what it is. I can only add a funny fact that “The Room” was originally a play and, before making the film, Tommy Wiseau adapted it into a book. A 500-page book. F-I-V-E-H-U-N-D-R-E-D. I’m so glad he made a film out of it, because at least we can all appreciate his quite unparalleled talent as a director… and a screenwriter… and a producer… and an actor. What time to be alive, huh?

My rating: 1/10 (with a big heart)
S.

I’m professionally good looking. “Zoolander” (2001)

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directed by Ben Stiller
© 2001 Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved.

Are you surprised to see this film today? Well, I know that it’s not what you might have expected, but I have to explain myself. Firstly, “Zoolander” is an absolute guilty pleasure. I’ve seen it at least three times and I adore Ben Stiller in this one. Secondly, however, this is my little “thank you” to Ben Stiller’s father, Jerry Stiller, who passed away yesterday. He was a wonderful actor and he appeared in “Zoolander” together with his son, so I’ve decided to write about it today. Hope you understand now. Still, “Zoolander” is quite a controversial film (even banned in some countries) and I’m sure not everyone reading this post might like it. The story goes like this: Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) is a male fashion model, who loses his good reputation. Soon, several colleagues of his die in “accidents”, so, for his own safety, Derek decides to stop modelling and return to his family house. There, he starts working with his father and two brothers in the coal mines. If you think that’s weird, wait a second. At the same time, Jacobim Mugatu (Will Ferrell), who’s an absolute fashion guru, and Maury Ballstein (Jerry Stiller), Derek’s agent, are planning to use Derek for their special mission. The Prime Minister of Malaysia is against child labour, which means that Mugatu might lose the access to cheap clothes production. Therefore, they want to brainwash one model and make him kill the Prime Minister. And, obviously, this model is supposed to be Derek Zoolander. For those who haven’t seen the film, trust me, I know how the description sounds. But there’s something magnificent about this comedy. I’m aware of the fact that it’s controversial, strange or even, let’s face it, horribly stupid. But our world would be boring if we were making only dramas and documentaries, right? Of course it’s not a film that has made any impact on me, but I had a good laugh. And, as I said, Ben Stiller is fabulous in this role. There’s also the second part made in 2016, but it’s quite average comparing to the first film. Feel free to watch both, but don’t expect too much. Anyway, if you’re looking for some evening relax, play “Zoolander” and say goodbye to Jerry Stiller in their Stiller family way.

My rating: 7/10
S.

We can’t behave like people in novels, though, can we? “The Age of Innocence” (1993)

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directed by Martin Scorsese
© 1993 Columbia Pictures. All Rights Reserved.

Imagine you’re a man (or if you’re a man, then consider it as a facilitation) and you have to choose between Michelle Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder. Oh and I forgot to add that you’re Daniel Day-Lewis. Nice dreams, huh? Unfortunately, I can’t make it happen, but today I’ve got a film that can visualise your dreams. Over 25 years ago, Martin Scorsese made an adaptation of a, now, 100-year-old novel by Edith Wharton “The Age of Innocence”. Even though the film was a box office failure, it’s an important piece of art for Scorsese, because it’s dedicated to his father, Luciano Scorsese, who died just before the release of the adaptation. However, even though it didn’t earn that much money, I’m still recommending it, because it’s not such a typical historical drama. I bet that if someone asked you what you associate Scorsese with, you wouldn’t say historical dramas. And perhaps we needed such a director to make the adaptation of “The Age of Innocence”, because there’s something fresh and extraordinary in its form. For those who haven’t heard of it, let me just say a few words about the plot. We’re in 1870s, where a handsome and highly respected lawyer Newland Archer (Daniel Day-Lewis) is about to marry May Welland (Winona Ryder). Where’s Michelle Pfeiffer then? Well, Michelle plays May’s cousin, Countess Ellen Olenska. She was married to a Polish Count, but the marriage is over and she’s returned to New York. But a beautiful and wealthy woman cannot be lonely for too long. Soon she starts flirting with gentlemen around her, but she’s also getting to know her cousin’s future husband. Even though Newland is in love with May, he’s fascinated by Ellen and her views. And so on and so on. Sounds like a typical romance, but, as I said before, there’s something special about the atmosphere of this film. I’m not a big fan of historical dramas, but this one is very acceptable.

My rating: 7/10
S.

There’s no way you can love an animal that has been genetically engineered to die in six weeks. “Eating Animals” (2017)

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directed by Christopher Dillon Quinn
© 2017 IFC Films. All Rights Reserved.

In 2009, Jonathan Safran Foer published his book called “Eating Animals”. Nine years later, Christopher Dillon Quinn directed the film adaptation. And today, I’m recommending you to take a moment and either read or watch one of those. I’m aware that omnivore readers might feel totally discouraged thinking “Eating Animals” is just another production full of vegans’ rage. I know that both groups can sometimes be quite aggressive and impolite stating their opinions. However, I feel like this film is a perfect mediator between omnivores and vegans. It doesn’t just say “stop eating meat because that’s cruel and unethical”. In this one, we get many reasons why eating meat in our times is not the healthiest option. The producers talk with farmers, who’ve been breeding animals for years and it’s surprising that the people who earn money on producing meat admit that there’s something wrong in our feeding system. The problem is that people have lost the access to naturally bred animals’ meat. Nowadays, it’s become pure business, so farmers need to produce more and more. What do overworked people do to boost their energy? Drugs, simple as that. The same happens on those farms. Or I should rather call them “factories”. Still, if there’s demand, there’s supply. Meat has become a very cheap and convenient option, so it’s clear that people want to earn money providing it. As I said, this film is not about criticising meat eaters, but trying to understand why we eat the way we eat. Personally, I’ve chosen to be on the green side, but if I was a meat eater, I guess I’d like to know what I serve myself and my family. I wish you healthy choices in your life and I hope our feeding system will change one day for a bit better.

My rating: 8/10
S.

Was that Cardi B? “Booksmart” (2019)

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directed by Olivia Wilde
© 2019 United Artists Releasing. All Rights Reserved.

Oh boy, oh boy. I was supposed to skip this film because I honestly thought I wouldn’t like it. Unfortunately, I’m no longer a teenager and what happens with films for young people these days terrifies me. But we all have those days when we just need something to talk to us in the evening while we’re finishing that large pizza or third instant soup. No judgement, please. Anyway, even though I’m not a teen, I had a great time watching “Booksmart” and if you’re thinking the same way as I did, you’re missing a fun movie night. The main characters are Amy and Molly (Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein), who are best friends, both teenagers and both total nerds. But they are not those nerds you may know from other films. They are successful nerds who know what they want in life and they work hard to finish high school with the best grades. When Molly finds out that all the party-animal students also got accepted into prestigious universities, she gets frustrated and comes up with a plan. On the eve of graduation, Molly and Amy will go party hard and get waaaay closer to their crushes. Even though Amy isn’t convinced, she finally agrees and the girls go crazy that night. Or rather… they try because, apparently, it’s not that easy to find a good party place. I’m aware that the description of this film can discourage you from watching but trust me, an adult can have fun watching it. Besides, if Jason Sudeikis plays the high school principal, this must be a good comedy. And don’t think it’s that silly, oh no. The screenwriters managed to combine funny jokes with several lines full of deep messages, specially for young people. Aaaaand if you think it’s just a teen comedy, I’d like to inform you that Beanie Fieldstein was nominated for this role at the Golden Globes Awards this year, which she definitely deserved because this girl is on fire. So you’ve just received a permission to order that large pizza and watch a comedy for teenagers. You’re welcome!
P.S. The joke with Cardi B made me wake up the whole neighbourhood with laughter. Just wait for it.

My rating: 7/10
S.

I am different, not less. “Temple Grandin” (2010)

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directed by Mick Jackson
© 2010 HBO Films. All Rights Reserved.

I’d like to introduce you to a very special person today. Have you heard of Temple Grandin? She’s an American woman, specialising in animal science (she’s got PhD), who’s sacrificed her life to change the way people treat farm animals. It wouldn’t be that surprising if I didn’t tell you that she’s also autistic. Nowadays, autism is still considered to be a taboo topic, but imagine how people were reacting back then, in the 50/60s. Temple (played by Claire Danes – amazing performance, by the way) found it difficult to act like other children and her family were worried that she might not manage in life since she couldn’t even manage at school. However, Temple surprised them all, I guess. Despite any difficulties, she’s found her own passion and goal in life. The film presents her life from the beginning and we can see how many doors she needed to open to finally reach the place she’s in now (you’ll get the allusion with doors when you watch the film). I don’t want to share too much because, personally, I didn’t know anything about her before watching and it was a nice experience to learn scene after scene. Still, there’s one thing I do have to share with you, because it’s absolutely adorable. Since Temple was struggling with her spectrum, she invented and constructed the “hug machine”. It was a machine that was literally hugging her when she needed to calm down. Honestly, when I don’t have any people around me, I’d love to use such machine. Imagine being hugged by it and working at the same time. Wouldn’t it be wonderful? I’d definitely be more productive. However, Temple has changed and now she’s okay with hugging people, so I wish you the same as soon as we finish this social distancing. Or maybe the film will inspire you to build your own hug machine? Who knows?

My rating: 7.5/10
S.